mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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