i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize