The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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