is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
