I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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