If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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