I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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