Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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