if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was born a porn star she said
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
