stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
