My room smells like vodka and shame
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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