She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
