I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
