ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
