I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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