Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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