I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
