you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
