was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.