Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.