well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
