Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
