Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
