you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
