8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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