My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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