Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
