SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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