Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
