I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
