Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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