It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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