I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
