you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
