Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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