now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
