Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
