I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
