why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
