I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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