She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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