Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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