Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
