i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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