make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she smelled like a LAN party
so let's talk penis.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
