hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
