I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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