she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
