Already got asked if we're dating
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
