Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
