oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
