Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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