And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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