I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He shit in the fireplace
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
