can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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