I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
