and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
