I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
