It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
