no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
