I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
