let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
