yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize