Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
