My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
