ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
