I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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