I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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